Train now leaving on Track No. Sex

Ok, so I missed getting an entry up earlier, and this still isn't the one I've had kicking around since January.  (I need to get off my arse and use my scanner for that one.)  However, this is an entry, so in the meantime it will have to do.

This entry is all about a Japanese English book from the 80s called "Porno smallbook speaking, let's go!"  (Although another source has claimed the title actually translates into "Let's translate porno novels!"  The first sounds like it's a literal translation, whilst the latter is probably a more accurate translation of the actual meaning.)  Of course, what the Japanese characters are saying isn't important, as the English itself is hilarious.  So, without further delay, let's go!

For example:  care to know how to say "My wife is weeping with joy over my hardness and enlargement"?  That would be page 4.  Or how about how you compliment a woman on how hairy she is?    That would be page 26.  (However, if you want to comment on how much fat she has, that's page 21.)

The language is also a little on the odd side.  For example, the following are not words you would probably normally use during a romantic moment:  viscous (page  16), and toothsome (page 10).  Also, when the word masher gets used (second definition), you know you're probably doing something wrong (page 6).

However, having said all that, it still is impossible to ready oneself properly for the MSG reference, or the train page.  Seriously:  MSG?  During sex?