Paddlin' the School Canoe?

Hold onto your hats everyone; if you thought Merrill Keiser Jr. was an out-there political candidate, then you have yet to encounter independent candidate for Texas governor, Larry Kilgore.

How is he crazier than Keiser?  Well, just look at his stance on the issues:  Abortion?  That's a stonin'.  DWI? That's a stonin'.  Adultery?  Also a stonin'.  Stonin' someone for a crime, when you haven't been vested the authority to stone them?  Oh, you better believe that's a stonin'.  (Well, at least he's consistent.)

Porn or strip clubs?  Up to 40 lashes, and no, not the kinky kind of lashes.  Although that does make me wonder: does lashing someone who was engaged in making BDSM porn really count as a punishment?

The prison budget?  Eliminate it.  (Of course, when you're executing or whipping people, you don't exactly need a prison to hold them in.)  Illegal immigrants?  Deport them, but only after whipping and fining them.  ("Yes, I understand that you fled your home country to escape crippling poverty, but you don't perchance have $3000 dollars on you?  No?  Oh.")  Oh, and dating isn't a good idea either.

So, what's he going to do if elected and then informed that he can't do these things?  Why, he's going to ask the president nicely not to do anything.  (See: the first FAQ question.)

But perhaps most confusing of all is this one:

What do you think of democracy?
Democracy and Terrorism: Two Faces Of The Same Evil.

If that's the case, isn't he supporting terrorism just by running?