I Think I Need to Formulate My Thoughts Better (Movie-Related Entry)

The Associated Press appears to finally be catching on to something that's been known in certain circles for quite some time: if the movie studios refuse to screen a film for the critics prior to opening weekend, it's probably because it's terrible.

They list a number of movies released in 2006 as having followed this trend: Doogal (IMDB: 2.0), Phat Girlz (IMDB: 2.3)^*, The Benchwarmers (IMDB: 4.9)^**, Stay Alive (IMDB: 2.8, and currently #61 on the bottom 100), When a Stranger Calls (IMDB: 4.2), Madea's Family Reunion (IMDB: 2.9, and #88 on the bottom 100), Ultraviolet (IMDB: 3.8), and Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (IMDB: 2.1, and #16 on the bottom 100).  In fact, only two of the films mentioned in the article (Underworld: Evolution, and Grandma's Boy) have an IMDB rating above 5.0 on IMDB (6.6 and 6.5, respectively).

That, if you're counting, makes 10 films, and the AP article mentions 10.  I'm curious as to what other film didn't get screened.  My guess is it's one of the other 6 2006 films that are currently on the bottom 100.

Anyways, moving on, I've got to agree with Ebert here: the target audience of a lot of these films (horror, special-effects heavy action, and low-brow comedy) aren't going to care what the critics say — they've gotten used to them bashing their favourite films.  For everyone else, this is just a red-flag that they might want to wait until someone else has seen it, or go on cheap nights.  (Besides, can anybody seriously watch the trailer for Larry the Cable Guy and actually think that it looks like a good way to spend $10?  Actually, the answer to that appears to be Flixster users, who have currently rated the film 4.5 stars out of 5.  As I like to point out, that makes it better than Casablanca.)

As for me, I generally watch Rotten Tomatoes prior to a film I'm interested in coming out; not to see how the critics rate it (although that might make a difference as to when I go see it, or if I rent it instead), but rather to make sure that the critics do rate it prior to its release.  No rating, no money from me.

* Starring Mo'Nique, a name I can't read without thinking of a quote from Idiotic Legal Arguments Section Four (given that IMDB informs me that the ' wasn't in her birth name):

"It has been suggested in medical literature that a patient's  use of a meaningless or unpronounceable "glyph" in his name was indicative of psychosis with delusions."

Oh, and her book looks like it's a barrel of laughs too.

** Starring Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Jon Heder, and produced (of course) by Adam Sandler (as he seems to be the man who's single-handily responsible for trying to convince the world that a) Schneider's funny, and b) Schneider deserves starring roles; I'm sure those're capital offences somewhere in the world) — if that wasn't enough of a warning to stay away, then I don't know what would have been.