In Search of the Mad One Who Capitalized His Name

I'll admit it: I don't get much personal mail.  In fact, I'm not sure when the last time I had something in the mailbox that wasn't a bill, junk, or banking information was.  As such, I tend not to check my mail that much, and just toss out the junk without reading it.

Today, however, was different.

Today, for some reason, I decided to check my mail despite having done so yesterday.  There wasn't much: a bill, and a random junk card of some sort.  I would have just tossed it, but the card caught my eye; on the front of it was a big, fairly nondescript painting of post-crucifixion Aryan Jesus emerging from the tomb.

"Hrmm," I think, "It would appear that the missionaries are out in force."

Rather than searching for a large pot to boil them in if they came round again, I happened to flip the card over.  A smaller version of the front picture, and stuff about faith in Christ, free video, &c., &c.  Nothing exciting, but whilst looking at it I happen to spot a bunch of them laid out on the ledge next to the mailbox, and they had different images on the front: so-happy-they're-creepy-looking family, building at night, and bunch of people shielding their faces from a human silhouette floating in the sky surrounded by extra majesty.

"Well," I say, "They have different stuff on the front, so maybe they have different stuff on the back."  So, I go and take a look.

The creepy family just has stuff about loving families and a free video.  The building's just text about "What is the purpose of life?" and so forth.  The floating majesty dude though, oh, that one's the keeper.

Now, I should explain a bit: I'm not a huge fan of religion.  It's never done anything for me, and we've since worked out an agreement: I keep my distance from it (mostly), and it keeps its distance from me (mostly).  However, there are two religions that I do have a particular love for.  One involves people who believe in an alien warlord held prisoner in a cage powered by an eternal battery (bwha?), and basically reads like something created by a bad sci-fi author.  (Huh.  Now why might that be?)  The other involves people who believe in an angel with the terribly unfortunate name of Moroni.

I flip the card over, and I find out that it's the latter.

"The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ," it exclaims in big bold letters.  I chuckle slightly, and then notice the print below the picture of the book: "Please accept a free copy as our gift.  Call 888-537-2200"

It's kind of a poor way to end this entry, but all I have to say is that I wish I had a PO box to have a copy sent to.  (Hey, I don't exactly want more unsolicited mail from Mormons.)  I certainly could use a good laugh.